I will walk that extra mile

It was very touching to read these lines from one of the blogs posted by Pooja. Nostalgia.... My best friend and may be foe too. Never allows me to leave my past and be in present and even if I make an effort to be in present...it always leaves me with traces of past. The dream days of college...always reminds me of her dreamy eyes, vibrant smile. Bright..was the only adjective one could use to describe her.we shared common interests..friends..and likes and dislikes. We talked..walked..laughed together...trekked across sahyadri ranges and spent time through the lanes of Mumbai. The warmth in our relation was evident...My heart was constantly pleading to go for it..but strong resistance from mind prevailed upon..there was always a fear of losing a good friend and a lovely relation of friendship...and I guess....coz of that I never could travel that extra mile to something that would have made it special..the times passed and the dream years got over in no time....and when time to part ways came...heart did finally came out in open.ah! Only to be broken... We never met after that. I rather made a conscious attempt to stay away...no writing...no calls..no news...get on with life man. No one waits for each other and likewise we both parted with out looking behind.. For me a friend was lost forever..

these times in life never return, but leave a sweet pain that lasts with you till the end..the memoirs always bring smile on your face and leave your eyes moist...Rarely life gives you an opportunity to commence a second innings...

..and suddenly one day, we were standing in front of each other ...a long gap of 14 years appeared as if it never existed...it was meeting of two matured individuals who had seen the roughs of life...her persona still charmed me.may be a hangover of old time..there was a careful enquiry on each other's family front...and a realization of pain of loosing of good friend.. we are back to writing.talking....phone lines are open and active..we do all that feasible to make up for the lost time. but ..parallels drawn between our lives are beyond me..and I do not have ticket to travel that extra mile.even though I want to see her smile always.

04 May 08

My Dearest of all Aai.

Charan sparsh.and heartiest wishes for having entered 75^th year.on this day I can only wish for a heavenly peace for your departed soul.I hope u are being looked after in the best possible manner . it's been long years that we had any kind of dialogue..all these years I have been only receiving your unending blessings.though your physical presence still eludes me..but through your blessings your support is felt during every moment of life.whenever I need you.I can sense that you are around me.I guess that's what mothers are..They never die for their children.And so as you for me.I will appear very childish and you may not like it if I tell you that your thoughts makes me soft.bring wonderful memories to the forefront..and your care.affection.warmth seems to deeply missed..when u hear Shanker Mahadevan singing "Meri Ma" in Taare Zameen par.I feel like crying as much as Ishan on the screen.but I guess it doesn't look good to see a matured man shedding tears like this..so all that is soaked with in.I still feel like a small baby in front of your gracious persona..and you cant stop small babies crying for their mother.so grant me this time please.

It's been long 14 years since you left us.so much have changed during these years.Raju..Mai..baba.all followed the suit..leaving me all alone.when I look upwards I find myself to be standing all alone under the blue sky..funniest part is from the youngest in the family I have graduated to be the eldest male member.by the way even I have started turning grey..during these 14 years I don't claim that we have managed ourselves and the family in the best manner that you would have loved.that leaves me with a feel of bit of a disintegration..

You know, right from the childhood I carried a worst fear with me.That when I will start achieving something in life..probably people who matter to me may not be with me.and that's what it seems to be today.on your birthday when I try to look at whatever I have with me with some pride.it appears to be more meaningless than ever..question of why? Why did you go so early? keeps haunting me all the time. Was there anything unspoken.unsaid.from your side.is something which I keep wondering..something I didn't ask for all these years but on this day..I couldn't resist myself from asking you this..

So, we have made some special sweets for you today.I know how much you craved for sweets.though diabetes could never dampen your zeal for sweets.in fact how much you craved for good life for every one.your parents..Brothers.sisters...your family.nephews.nieces.friends..relatives..I am sure they all miss you..today and always..Even when we were going through rough patch..you never allowed spirit and esteem of family to be lowered ever.someone mentioned to me a few days back that for an outsider you always looked to be strong and tough person.of course you were strong and tough for people who deserved it.and being self made..you had every reason to be like that.but once close to you would realize how much of compassion you had with in..Its circumstances of life that made you tough and combative..From the days of kandivli to Nandurbar and then again to Mumbai..you saw various facets of life and adapted beautifully without allowing the real you with in to succumb..you survived and moved ahead as a mother.sportswoman..teacher..you sustained your painting.singing skills..super cook that you were...who can forget wonderful pangat (arrangement where family has its meals together) on Holi.where in HOT.Pooran Polis would keep flowing from kitchen one after the other till we all were full to the brim...and most importantly as an individual..you handled everything that came your way in the best manner.for you anything below the best never existed..

It's that spirit of yours continues to be a guiding beacon to all of us.whenever I face an odd situation.I just need to close my eyes and think what you would have done and I have a solution in a jiffy.that's the latest that I have learned from management jargon we use on a daily basis...and of course I have started writing and using much better English.remember the early lessons of English u imparted to me and Prasad.language might have improved from you taught us.but the expression..feel..and innocence remains the same and times when I do tend to go wrong.your preaching remain strongly like a compass with me..May your blessings remain with us forever...

Here's wishing you a Happy Birthday once again..

With lots of love and regards

Missing you always..

This one is for all diehard fans of reality shows on TV.Chote Ustad.Little Champs.these shows have been catching my attention for some time.Over the years these music ..Talent hunt shows have added to themselves with a lot of drama..Thrill.and all the emotions that may even look Ekta kapoor shows look somber.As the current schedule of these shows were on the move.it appeared as if it was music that would finally take precedence over peripherals.Some super duper performances by all the participants in these shows brought energy and brightness to evenings..My personal favorites have been Anvesha and Aaaishwarya in Chote...and Anamika in Little...Surprisingly all starting from "A" and fully deserving to be at the top..tonal qualities.singing talent.and super rendering of all types of songs have taken these shows to some heights.

While we appreciate these young talents.Zee and Star have not been able to resist the temptation on cashing on to emotions of these children. While seeing one little star leaving show on every Friday with tears.and other drama around it was not considered enough.the process of elimination.music.drama and thrill that surrounds the whole process can even put some of the bollywood thrillers to shame..I wonder if it is alright to expose these children to so much of pressure at such a tender age.Process of rejection can sometimes leave a permanent dent on once confidence.and it takes sometimes a super human effort to get out of such slump...As if this drama is not enough we also have these emotional AVIs popping in between showing family sides of these children...We audiences mutely watch all the fun....debate over it.and forget about it...without thinking about damage that we may be doing to our children?.....All this for a few dollars more for these channels..some more advertisement.and endorsement money.some higher TRPs..

There have been talent shows involving young talents in the past.Shreya ghoshal.Shweta Pandit.Sneha Pant.Sunidhi Chauhan. are all products of such shows.Remember times when Sa re Ga Ma was lauched.how simple it was.no antics..some good singers..nice music..no rough talking judges.just some mild advice.and declaration of winners..its not in our culture to declare looser with fanfare and rejoice over it.one can not enjoy over others grief...but these shows have evolved culturally.adding some dark shades to the show..exploitation of talents.has become rule of the game and as the WWF of music continues we the audiences..Media...critics....and experts only whistle.cheer..or show anguish over what can be termed as crude exploitation of available child labouor..

A few months back Government has passed a very strong law against child labour.I don't know if the TV mafias and even the parents of these young ones can be booked under this law.its high time that some good sense to prevail and experts in child psychology undertake scientific study of impact these type of shows making on children participating on these shows..

एक अंधी लडकी थी । उसे उसके एक दोस्त के अलावा सबने ठुकरा दिया था । पर वो दोस्त उससे बहुत प्यार करता था । लडकी रोज़ उससे ये कहती कि अगर वो उसे देख पाती तो उसी से शादी करती । एक दिन किसी ने उस लडकी को अपने आंखे दे दीं । जब वो देख सकने लगी तो उसने देखा की उसका वह दोस्त अंधा था । दोस्त ने उससे पूछा की क्या अब वो उससे शादी करेगी ? लडकी ने साफ़ इनकार कर दिया । इस पर उसका दोस्त मुस्कुराया और चुप चाप उसे एक कागज़ देकर चला गया । उसपर लिखा था -

"मेरी आखों का ख्याल रखना

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to Share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is mystic.

Thank you all my lovely friends for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime

Just the other day a news items carrying your story of returning Param Vir Chakra caught my eye. It was indeed difficult to consume the fact that an individual who devoted his entire life serving in Indian Army......who has been awarded with Param Vir Chakra for his supreme sacrifice for the nation...has been left in lurch by society in general and government in specific..Stories of our soldires who sacrifice prime time of their life..away from their families...in most difficult terrains.. serving nation being ill treated post-Army life are not new. While your anguish is understandable...I wonder if it was a step in right direction to return the Param Vir Chakra...

Param Vir Chakra is a symbol of supreme sacrifice made by millions and millions of soldires like you..When you got the opportunity..you and your fellow men never looked back to sacrifice your lives on snow clad peaks of Siachin. The stories of valour and grit of Indian Soldires would flow like an epic...Did even one of them thought "What am I going to get out of this?"...had even one of them had looked back towards their families or greener pastures of life...we would have been still serving the British or would have been conqured 100 times by Jehadis....

You may also recollect the lives laid by so many unsung heros during freedom struggle...Bhagat singh...Rajguru...Sukhdev...Chandrashekhar Azad...Netaji Bose...and so many of them...these guys didnt bother about their personal gains while giving their everything to nation...the metal of men who have this ability to devote their lives to the nation is different...they do not cry foul for what they did not get...for that matter they dont expect anything from nation....We always looked up to you in the same line with them...you have been extremely lucky to have survived the onslaught and being the only surviving Param Vir Chakra holder...the rest...they simply rest in peace...we dont even know state of their surviving family members...we dont even know if any one can cry for them...fight for them....But I m sure that all of them must be looking at the Param Vir Chakra with sense pride and satisfaction....It is a priceless memento for the family.....and gets a highest respect....My humble respect to you to not to fall for smaller gains in life and loose all the wonderful things you have achieved till now......

Your PVC matters more to entire generation...it acts as a guiding beacon for future...You have earned it with out bothering about the returns...so why this display of anguish and annoyance today? You had joined Army on your own...While you were serving Indian Army...you have received pay/allowances and all the perks that you deserved...you took great pride in wearing green uniform and passed on the same to your juniors.....I am sure you are getting your due pension.....when you earned your PVC...I am sure some goodies must have come your way (Remember they did not go to your friends who are no more with you)....so all this cumulatively makes your anguish look very small infront of you your self......

While I again agree that soldires are required to be nurtured by the nation...but nurturing and pampering has some difference....people like you should be respected.....but my humble request to you to not to de-grade your self...and disrespect your fellow men who fought with you and did not have great fortune like you to be still their with their families...for their sake...cherish and respect your Param vir chakra...for their sake...cherish your life...for their sake.... simply enjoy what u have.....

with best regards and respect

Your fellow country men...

Let me be bit frank at the begining itself..that I went for the show with some expectations. Amount of euphoria generated prior to release and whatever publicity campaign was run by SRK and Co made me belive that it was going to be something different...The plot looked like some sort of dream...and belive u me... it was kind of a dream come true on the screen...I wouldnt tax my intellectual faculties by describing the story line...like The Times of India described in todays review that Subhash Ghai has every reason to smile..that even after so many years the Karz plot works..not only works but works beautifully. The story has been aptly added flavour for the day by Farah khan and meets needs of all audiences taste buds...SRK is as usual super intense in what ever he does...He was as fresh and his six ab pack was quite an encouragement for a round shape like me...SRK u have infact motivated me to get on to some sort of fitness regime...I will..if not six..what ever number that I can achieve..Go for it man..Go!...

And what do I say about Deepika...If Madhubala...Vaijantimala...Hema malini...Madhuri...Aaishwarya...are divine..then she definately fits in to the tradition...surely has an ability to carry this ahead...She fills the screen with her beauty...charm...grace...smile...and what ever...When she is on screen...u even miss SRK...If I was SRK...I would have drooled in the same manner...(may be better)...it was sheer happiness to see such an overwhelming presence on the screen after a long long time...cheers to u deepika...may u see mountains of success...

Music of OSO has already been making waves..but seeing the songs on screen is like a poetry...Aankho mein teri....Tum ko Paya to meine...Chan se gire to koi sapna...are numbers that would remain with u for a long period...they carry some superb lyrics and lovely tunes and have been well presented....The chartbuster number "Om Shanti Om" also carries flavour of seventies...and u see stars parading for the song...right from oldies like Dharamendra to Ritesh...Rekha to Rani...all grace the song with great finess...I must say that its has been a directorial graduation of Farah Khan...She rolled the camera and fit the steps of these stars so well that the song has become audiences viewing delight..great show! ( Big B and Aamir Khan missed out on all the fun)..Last word on Vishal-Shekhar..these guys have been firmly moving with their style of Music..from the days of Jhankar beats to OSO..these buddies have really made some impact on the industry....

Movie carries a lot of intense moments..my favourite among them is reincarted SRK...climbing the podium to collect Filmfare award and renders the thanks giving speach like a possessed...speach that he had planned in his previous birth...i guess only SRK today is capable of doing this....Hats off to u buddy...

At the end of the day the success of the movie lies in the fact that when deepika smiles and SRK rendershis lines " Agar kisi chij ki dilse khwaish ki jaye to puri kaynat use sach karne mein joot jati hai" ...It all seem real...touches your heart...u feel like laughing with them...your heart bleeds with them...you drool with them...u enjoy every bit of emotion.....

I only wish if life was also like what OSOs famous dialouge...."Picture abhi aur bhi hai dost...."

What an expreience it was..I had been to Puttapurthi to experience what many describe as a divine experience. I was craving to see Shri Stya Sai for some years...to be precised over a decade now. Before i write further let me confess that I am not a Satya sai follower...I dont claim to do so in future...I like many never had any knid of emotional attachment to him...but still I carried with me..curiosity to see him.

It all started..when one day I was watching a documentery made my Vir sanghavi was being telecasted on Discovery. It discussed both sides about Shri Satya Sai in detail...one called him a magician who was taking the whole world for a ride through his tricks...while the other looked at him like a god who had all the powers in the world to take care of their problems...the documentery was inconclusive and endedup stating that Things that are beyond comprehension of human mind or science may best be left to time or faith of people...and i carried that thought with me since then. The point was discussed among we friends once..One of us came out with a very logical reasoning to all the so called fan following around baba...It said that for a moment condem this man...consider that he is a magician...consider that he is taking the whole world for a ride...making fool out of millions and milions....but the fact remains that we can not make fool out of a few for a few minutes...if this man is able to do so..He is sure to bear qualities that we commoners may not bear...so grant this to man his due... no harm in worshiping an individual who has something special...something more that what u and me have....

With this background my visit to Puttaparthy and experience the aura of man called Shri Satya Sai was avery thought provoking. I was keen to observe and feel everything that I could. I consider myself sensitive enough to apperciate and absorb all that is positive around me...I may sometimes understand the negativity and discard it before it gets into my flesh and blood...Let me admitt that at the end of my journey I came out to be a very happy...spiritually rich...and contended man. Seeing a small village getting transformed into a lovely township..with a University...schools...music academy...world class sports complex...Air port...railway station and world famous super speciality hospital...all due to aura of one man. The vision of this man is to impart good value education to students at every level of learning..and when these children grow on to become successful Doctors...engineers...lawyers...leaders and professionals of tomorrow...would propogate these good value to mankind paving the way to evolution of a good society. The impact of this vision was evident...when u see the disciplined children and professionals graduated from university (I met a few of them) doing so well not only professionallly but personally too...These children get exposed to the best in the business...like Sunil Gavaskar...NBA Team...Narayana Murthy and so on...the list in un-ending...

I managed to get a glimpse of Shri Satya Sai only for a minute or so...but that minute seem to have changed me for a life. Not a word spoken or any special gesturing was done...but I felt so light after living through that moment...I felt as if all my stress and worries were downloaded somewhere...it was a feel of happiness...while i was trying to come in terms with fact that Shri Satya Sai was actually in front of me..i could sense tears in my eyes and were flowing uncontrollably...it was sort of happiness one achieves when god appears in front of you and asks you to seek anything u like...but the happiness of seeing god it self is so much and rest all appears to trivial...if that is what is called divine then i guess i went through one such experience...experience that made me spiritually stronger...temperamentally calmer and a better human being. The best part is, all this happened with out breaking the barriers of sanity of human mind.....heart...soul and mind ....in unison accepted the divinity of that experience...

The place Puttapurthy...the man Shri Satya Sai....simply great!