http://www.geocities.com/rah_ul9/aai.html

04 May 08

My Dearest of all Aai…

Charan sparsh…and heartiest wishes for having entered 75^th year…on this day I can only wish for a heavenly peace for your departed soul…I hope u are being looked after in the best possible manner … it’s  been long years that we had any kind of dialogue..all these years I have been only receiving your unending blessings…though your physical presence still eludes me..but through your blessings your support is felt during every moment of life…whenever I need you…I can sense that you are around me…I guess that’s what mothers are..They never die for their children…And so as you for me…I will appear very childish and you may not like it if I tell you that your thoughts makes me soft…bring wonderful memories to the forefront….and your care…affection…warmth seems to  deeply missed….when u hear Shanker Mahadevan singing “Meri Ma” in Taare Zameen par…I feel like crying as much as Ishan on the screen…but I guess it doesn’t look good to see a matured man shedding tears like this….so all that is soaked with in…I still feel like a small baby in front of your gracious persona….and you cant stop small babies crying for their mother…so grant me this time please…

It’s been long 14 years since you left us…so much have changed during these years…Raju..Mai..baba…all followed the suit……leaving me all alone…when I look upwards I find myself to be standing all alone under the blue sky….funniest part is from the youngest in the family I have graduated to be the eldest male member…by the way even I have started turning grey….during these 14 years I don’t claim that we have managed ourselves and the family in the best manner that you would have loved…that leaves me with a feel of bit of a disintegration..

You know, right from the childhood I carried a worst fear with me…That when I will start achieving something in life..probably people who matter to me may not be with me…and that’s what it seems to be today…on your birthday when I try to look at whatever I have with me with some pride…it appears to be more meaningless than ever….question of why? Why did you go so early? keeps haunting me all the time. Was there anything unspoken…unsaid…from your side…is something which I keep wondering….something I didn’t ask for all these years but on this day..I couldn’t resist myself from asking you this….

So, we have made some special sweets for you today…I know how much you craved for sweets…though diabetes could never dampen your zeal for sweets…in fact how much you craved for good life for every one…your parents….Brothers…sisters…..your family…nephews…nieces…friends….relatives….I am sure they all miss you….today and always….Even when we were going through rough patch….you never allowed spirit and esteem of  family to be lowered ever…someone mentioned to me a few days back that for an outsider you always looked to be strong and tough person…of course you were strong and tough for people who deserved it…and being self made..you had every reason to be like that…but once close to you would realize  how much of compassion you had with in….Its circumstances of life that made you tough and combative….From the days of kandivli to Nandurbar and then again to Mumbai….you saw various facets of life and adapted beautifully without allowing the real you with in to succumb….you survived and moved ahead as a mother…sportswoman….teacher….you sustained your painting…singing skills……super cook that you were…..who can forget wonderful pangat (arrangement  where family has its meals together) on Holi…where in HOT…Pooran Polis would keep flowing from kitchen one after the other till we all were full to the brim…..and most importantly as an individual….you handled everything that came your way in the best manner…for you anything below the best never existed….

It’s that spirit of yours continues to be a guiding beacon to all of us…whenever I face an odd situation…I just need to close my eyes and think what you would have done and I have a solution in a jiffy…that’s the latest that I have learned from management jargon we use on a daily basis…..and of course I have started writing and using much better English…remember the early lessons of English u imparted to me and Prasad…language might have improved from you taught us…but the ex-pression….feel….and innocence remains the same and times when I do tend to go wrong…your preaching remain strongly like a compass with me……May your blessings remain with us forever…..

Here’s wishing you a Happy Birthday once again……

With lots of love and regards

Missing you always……